My Six Favourite TV Dads

I remember once during a media class in college, my teacher was trying to make the argument that Homer Simpson had introduced an era of "dim-witted fathers" on television and since Homer's arrival, almost every father depicted on a TV show was either a jerk, an idiot, or a well-meaning but still clueless imbecile. Being a TV-fanatic, I was appalled at the suggestion. I instantly thought of at least 10 upstanding dads from shows I watched growing up, and I have to say, I absolutely loved the stumped look on my teacher's face when I raised my hand and named them one by one.

The landscape of television is home to all kinds of dads (and moms, for that matter). Yes, some are stupid, like the Homers and the Peter Griffins. Yes, some are hopeless but still loveable, like Tim the "Toolman" Taylor or Ray Barone. Some are dicks who are funny but we wouldn't exactly wish they were our dads, like Red Foreman or Hank Moody. And some are just fucking scary - seriously, nobody should have to suffer through being the child of Benjamin Linus or Dan Scott. One stole a baby for 18 years and then basically dared a mad-man to shoot her at point-blank range (which he did), and the other knocked up and abandoned his high school sweetheart, knocked up his college flame less than six months later and chose to raise that son, like, down the fucking street from the other son he refused to acknowledge, and then some 18 years later, shot the father of his original baby mama's infant daughter (who also happened to be his own brother).

But just like in real life, you can't let the crazy mofo's distract you from the fact that there are a ton of amazing dads out there who do right by their kids all the time. So I made a list of some of my all-time favourite TV dads to remind all of us, and our smug media professors, of that very fact. No, this is not a comprehensive list of every awesome TV dad out there; that would mean I had to do some actual research. Yes, this list would have been more relevant a week ago when it was Father's Day. But whatever. This is my blog. And I'm pregnant. I can do what I want!

So here we go:

6. Danny Tanner (Full House) – So what if most of his lines sounded like an after school special? Who cares if he is arguably one of the nerdiest characters ever? That’s exactly why I love him. His wholesome, squeaky-and-geeky-clean image was his charm, and you’re a liar if you say it didn’t have you rooting for him. Quite frankly, Vicky was an idiot not to marry Danny. Not only was he a great father, but he willingly and regularly cleaned the house. What more do you need? 

5. Jim Walsh (Beverly Hills 90210) – Okay, you might be wondering why a dad who would move to Hong Kong and leave his posh Bev Hills home in the hands of his college-age kid and his friends could make this list. Jim is on this list because, well, because he’s cool enough to move to Hong Kong and leave his posh Bev Hills home in the hands of his college-aged kid and his friends. What? It’s not like he left Brenda in charge.

4. Sandy Cohen (The O.C.) – Sandy was the Jim Walsh of a new generation, but cooler. Was it because of Sandy's luscious eyebrows? Maybe. Probably. Yes. But also, he was lucky enough to show up on television after the phase of cheesy dads had ended (see numbers 5 and 6). Sandy was sharp, funny, and sarcastic, and was given as many good lines as his sons were. He also never moved to Hong Kong, which meant he got more screen time to bail his family out of sticky situations. 

3. Nathan Scott (One Tree Hill) – If you only ever watched the first season of OTH, you will surely not understand how Nathan could end up on this list. He was selfish, mean, and careless. But that’s what makes his evolution into one of the best dads ever so much sweeter. Nathan eventually managed to step out of his father's raging psycho shadow (see aforementioned Dan Scott) and grow into a loving husband and father, proving that you’re not destined to be a shitty parent just because you come from shitty parents. 

2. Phillip Banks (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) - Uncle Phil may not have been "freshest" of them all, but he was still pretty fly. The most obvious reason being that he took in his wise-cracking nephew and raised him like his own, despite Will constantly insulting Phillip's weight. But let's not forget about the fact that he always kept a straight face while Carlton made a fool of himself, never slapped Hilary for being a spoiled brat, actually let Ashley out of the house despite the fact that never wore a shirt that covered her navel, and could toss Jazz out of the house with one hand. Plus, he didn't even bat an eye when his wife suddenly showed up as a totally different person. 

1. Burt Hummel (Glee) – How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love Burt because he is fully accepting and supportive of his gay son, Kurt. I love him because he turned out to be Kurt’s biggest champion even though at first glance, he looked the part of a “No-son-of-mine-will-be-gay” type of character. I love him for dancing so goofily up the aisle at his wedding to Finn’s mom, Carol. I love him for stepping into the father figure role for Finn. I love him for always maintaining the balance between loving and being there for your children, and standing your ground with them. But nothing, absolutely nothing, could make me love Burt Hummel more than this. Pure. Magic.

And just in case you're wondering, Cliff Huxtable is not included here not only because it would be a no-brainer but because I didn't think it was fair to the other dads since Cliff has pretty much topped every single other "best" or "favourite" TV dad list in the history of life. Also, as much as I love Ted Mosbey and the fact that the older version of him is voiced by Danny Tanner, you do not get to be on my list if you take seven seasons and counting to TELL ME WHO THE FUCKING MOTHER IS! Oh, and Marshall's not on here because he's only been a dad for five minutes and he was drunk for the majority of that time.

And anyway, there are many other TV dads who could've or should've made this list. But like I said, Alice's blog = Alice's rules. Feel free to discuss your favourites though!

-Alice

All Aboard the Potty Train

Potty training sucks. Even when it's going well, it still sucks.

It's mentally exhausting trying to stay one step ahead of a toddler's many mind games, and it's doubly exhausting to also have to try and stay ahead of their bowel movements. Truthfully, I would have been happy to have left Thumper in diapers well past her third birthday, but the impending arrival of her baby brother meant that I had to undertake the project earlier. Because if there's one thing I don't want to do more than potty train my child, it's potty train my child after having just given birth to another. So, albeit begrudgingly, I picked up my kid and hopped on the bandwagon.

Admittedly, things went smoothly. We didn't have any huge hiccups and Thumper caught on quickly with little resistance. I know I should be hugely grateful for that, and I am, because I know this road isn't so easy for all kids and parents. But I still have to say that everything I stated in my original hate-on for potty training still holds true. I do not like having to literally run to the washroom multiple times a day. I do not like that while I run, my daughter takes a leisurely stroll towards the bathroom. I do not like cleaning up the inevitable accidents. I do not like thinking of ways to entice my kid to want to go potty when our sticker reward system has lost its allure. I do not like battling my daughter to make her go pee before we get in the car. I do not like mentally making a getaway path towards the bathroom in every building I set foot into. I do not like dropping my intended purchases in the middle of the store in order to sprint over to Chapters with my daughter in my arms because Dollarama doesn't allow customers to use their motherf#cking washrooms. I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM! I DO NOT LIKE THEM SAM-I-AM! Things got a little off track there, didn't they? The point, as I'm sure you can tell, is that I do not like potty training. Not one little bit. And despite the ease with which we started, we have now entered our first bout of regression. 


More often than not, Thumper waits until she has topeerightthisverysecond to go to the bathroom. I do have to give her credit though, she'll go a little in her underwear, realize what's happening and then actually manage to hold it until she gets to the toilet. But when you've got a wet spot in your underwear every single time you show up to the potty, you've got a problem. And the problem isn't that she doesn't know what it feels like to have to go; she knows, oh she knows. She just doesn't care enough to pay attention to it until it's happening. Do I blame her? No; no one likes to stop what they're doing to go pee. But it does mean that until she learns that she has to care, I have to do it for her. So naturally, I went back to telling her when she has to sit on the toilet - because let's face it, no child answers yes when asked "if" they have to go - but that has caused a huge struggle for control that often results in Thumper screaming and hiding under her bed or running as far from me as possible as soon as the potty is mentioned. And if we are lucky enough to by-pass the pre-trip theatrics, we usually end the trip with some of Mommy's because Thumper will insist on doing everything herself and doing it as slowly as possible. Which means that at some point, that little thread from which my patience is always delicately dangling will snap and I'll turn into such a raving lunatic that I make the women from The Real Housewives franchise look tame. The ironic part about this constant struggle is that I would love nothing more than to not be in charge of her bathroom habits. And I think that's the real root of my beef with potty training. 


I just flat-out don't want to be part of it. I would love love love if Thumper was capable of deciding when to go, or deciding to go in time I should say, and then take care of the clean-up herself. But with children so young, it's just not possible and it's not going to be possible for a few more years and I find it tedious. Is it necessary? Yes. Part of my job as a parent? Absolutely. But...still tedious? 


Abso-fucking-lutely. 


-Alice

Are You There, Alice? It's Me, Your Blog

Sometimes blogging is a lot like doing laundry. Laundry is probably one of the easiest chores to do but despite its simplicity, it’s one of the things I most often avoid doing around the house. Every time I force myself to finally do the laundry, or rather, the overwhelming piles of dirty clothes take over my room and I realize that I have no more clean underwear, I wonder why it took me so long to get around to it. It’s not like I have to sit and scrub anything; the machine does all of the work.

Lately, that’s how I feel about blogging. Writing is easy for me, and I love this blog. I love being able to talk honestly about motherhood and my experience in it, and I love the responses I get each week from all of you. But, as you may have noticed over the last month, I’ve been avoiding it. It’s not like I don’t have stories to tell you – things have been pretty hectic actually, between potty training [insert witty remark about wanting to bang my head against the wall], babysitting my niece for a week [see above brackets for my thoughts on constantly being around two toddlers] and the fact that my not-quite-three year old suddenly has nightmares and imaginary friends [did I mention she’s not even three yet?!]. So why have I been avoiding my own site? Well, I’m lazy.

I could say I’ve been so lazy because I’m seven months pregnant, or because I’m busy trying to avoid death by toddler rage raise a toddler, or because I put sleep ahead of most other activities. The truth is that it’s all three combined.

Motherhood is awesome but it’s draining even on the good days. And being pregnant is no different; quite frankly, creating life for someone else can often feel like it’s sucking the life right out of you. So between the bun currently in my oven and the one that popped out a few years ago and likes to find new ways to make mommy’s head explode every day, I’m finding that all of my energy is used up, hence the constant sleeping instead of blogging. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been pro-napping for adults, but it often doesn’t even feel like a choice anymore.

Putting all of that aside though, there’s still the double edged sword of procrastination to deal with. The longer you put something off, the easier it is to avoid. But the longer you do so, the scarier the task becomes, which is exactly how my one week off of blogging turned into a month. Suddenly the thought of writing on here made me a little panicky. It was self-inflicted pressure, but I felt like I had to be super witty and funny or else people would just stop coming around here altogether. But, just like with the laundry, the only way to get over the overwhelming feeling was to just do it. So here we are.  I know this post isn’t funny or witty, but it’s a post and sometimes that’s just going to have to do.

So don’t worry. You will eventually get to hear all about my thoughts on potty training now that I’ve actually done it and what it’s like to have Irish twins for a week. Again, I don’t know if any of it will end up being funny or witty, but I’ll try as hard as I can.

And, if I’m not trying as hard as I can, I promise to at least feel bad about it.

-Alice